Trigger Warning-Abuse

Crazy day. Long story but something inside me led me to drive through the neighbourhood I grew up in. An area filled with landmarks, and the very person, linked to my childhood abuse. I was full of rage going in and nearly threw up after. Having avoided that area (which is really only several suburbs away) for years I needed to make it real again. It is real, just changed as suburbs do.

My decision to do this happened in an instant and there was no turning back. Why I put myself through that I’m not entirely sure but I do think it needed to happen. My T said I needed to take control over my life. I’m not sure he had this in mind. Rage is tearing at me for reasons I cannot bear or dear to describe. I feel alone in this, with no hope of justice.

My mind is cracking but so far I am looking for healthy ways to put it back together. Still, my cracking mind is flowing with idea after idea, and I’m not even manic. Just angry. How can I become free? Can I simply shake off my past and move on? Questions for myself. Just pondering.