I relate with this. My T set about identifying and dismantling defenses with me, and then we spent two years working hard on eliminating extreme dissociation and learning new ways. I struggle with standing on my own two feet right after session, if we talk about difficult material. My old defenses had much more efficacy than my new "coping" skills, and I almost feel betrayed to be sent out to the streets after a degree of intimacy and self-revelation of which I am uncertain, and afterwards frightened on some superstitious level. The presence of my T, and his blue eyes eye contact unceasing , his way of asking me to try and trust him , help me take risks with topics, but I almost have a therapy hangover afterwards and feel like I need more support. My T is strict and boundaried, well trained, and I suspect he has a loving heart. However, things like extra sessions etc are not allowed. He is way too busy and doesnt believe in it. Anyway I see him 2x a week, so more probably wouldnt be good. I end of experiencing "needs" as psychic pain. He consistently asks me to attribute this back to my childhood experience of csa, which I understand is legitimate but feel like deflection in the moment. Therapy has revealed needs I formerly addressed within a self-contained system, and my T witnesses that but doesnt try to fulfill them. My BF and good friends dont have the expertise and experience my T brings into play, so I dont confront them with the degree of anguish I feel . It is a hard problem, and sometimes I resent my T and other times respect him. He is incredibly reliable and there/present during our time, and then he is gone.