I restarted seeing an old T about 6 months ago. I've only been seeing her periodically because I went on a vacation for three weeks in the winter and when I came back she kept suggesting another session in about 2 weeks. It's been just over a month since I've seen her last. I can't decide whether or not to go back.

I've been having a difficult time lately, but, unlike in the past, my depression has leant towards lack of interest, including a lack of interest in therapy, and inability to experience pleasure. It seems that the re-addition of an antidepressant to my Bipolar mood stabilizers, in response to my earlier depressed mood, did not improve things, and in my opinion made things worse. I am off the antidepressant now and my mood, interest and pleasure has improved.

I'm also worried about relapse, and I'm aware that I'm only in partial remission. It's even possible that the improvement is only based on the increased family contact of Easter. Once it's over, will the improvements last? Perhaps if I socialize with friends it will maintain, but I think my social anxiety will get in the way. I know all the things that I have to do: exercise, eat right, work, play, learn, socialize. And I do the bare minimum.

I need some therapy, but I cannot decide whether or not to return to my old T. I am not sure we're working on the same goals, but I am not sure what goals would be most helpful and following her may be the best choice. However, I am still hurt she said, when I restarted seeing her, to limit a goal of mine to become a psychologist. The stress is too much. It is right now, lack of education notwithstanding, but that doesn't mean it always will be beyond my limits. Isn't it her job to help me achieve my goals, not limit them? Tell me that I am limited right now, but don't tell me I will always be.

I am, or will be shortly, on the waiting list for an 18-month evening therapy program, my psychiatrist is referring me to, with group, family and individual therapy sessions. I'm tempted to wait until then, but it will likely take 3 months and I need to add structure to my life, connect to friends, and decide, at least a short time, job plan.