And therein lies the rub. You're tying your own self-worth to someone else's feelings towards you, effectively handing over control to someone who, by all accounts, sounds like a narcissist.

Whether or not he truly loved you wouldn't have any bearing at all on who you are. You helped him and cared for him because you're a good person. He couldn't see that, and he lost his chance with you. That's all on him.

You can refer to your own thread, “Value and Self-worth Do Not Depend on How Others Treat You, Especially Abusers”. . You are going around in circles on this.