Isn't that what it really comes down to? You feel like you should know, but you don't. You feel like you should be above this, but you're not, it doesn't go away. Isn't that just a way of trying to deny how it feels? Aren't you just trying to tell yourself, well fine, if he says he didn't love me, then I didn't love him either?

It's OK not to know. To be hurt is to be human, you don't always have to be above it and a lot of times you can't. This is where you really have to be gentle with, and patient with yourself.

Hang in there...