My family and I released into a river the ashes of a relative that passed away last January. We're allowed to do that where I live and we did it after much research into the place and how we did it.

As I saw the ashes flowing away I thought that's what it all comes down to in the end... some ashes in the water. It inspired me to do something with my life. I raised a family and made a future for them, wrote some books, helped some people. I hope to do some more with the time I have left (hopefully it's a long time).

I'm feeling a very little better. Still not at my baseline but not as depressed as before. I'm a week into an increased dose of Wellbutrin.

I'm so quiet now. I used to make jokes and talk about a variety of things. Now I just prefer to listen and say very little, if anything at all. It gets awkward in social situations or at work. I've just gotten used to that awkward feeling. I know it's the depression causing this. I hope it gets better soon.

I'm thinking of you WC!