Be accepting of when she says, "I have to go," -- don't assume the motive is to get in a dig (even though I think you are the kind of person who picks up on others situations/emotions). When you say, "I have to go," you hope that she will let you without fuss.

What about just occassionally sending a email or text where you try to descibe something funny you saw or happened? You have a very good sense of humor--someone like you mom could use a laugh--if she texts back that your "try" was oh so lame ; well, you tried, that's on her if she is miserable. We can only figure out how to solve our own misery (isn't that hard enough?). If you text or email--you can decide what to respond to. You don't have to respond tit for tat--one short text a day is more than enough from my POV and some days they could just say, "Good morning!"

I try to only talk to my son once a day (though I do it more some days)--I deserve to enjoy my life and decide what to do with my time. I can't let him come to me anymore for everything (I still do a lot for him!!). I can't let him make me feel guilty about things that happened in the past. They happened because I was the one jumping through hoops more than anyone else for him--that I have always tried to be there and do things to make his life easier means that s4!TT occassionally happened. I can be a bit of an incompetent sometimes but if he wanted it all to go right--he should have planned and made sure of it himself--he's 24 now.

Yes, I have seen that you got the brunt of the stress associated with caring for your mom--this is why it is SO ridiculous when your sisters get upset that you don't do more (give her more money, etc.--you are generous but you are not a fool. --unlike me )