Thank you CepheidVariable, SO MUCH! Yes, i really needed to her those words. Thank you so much they mean a lot to me.

So, as i said, today was hard. the afternoon was a little easier but only because the job was a bit easier. mornings are often the worst part of the day at work.

i got to call my pdoc. she said she would fix the meds problem, i guess i'll see tomorrow if she just said it or if she did it. i dont trust her much with these stuff.

and you know what? on friday , we should have had our last session because she has been moved to another place. she didnt even remember we had a meeting and she said she wasnt available on friday! if i had not called her today she would have been a no-show on friday, on our last session (and i had even asked to leave work a bit earlier to go and see her)! we agreed on meeting on thursday instead and it was ok with me, but what the heck???? maybe changing pdoc will be a good thing after all. i dont know.

tonight coming back home i got another bill to pay but luckily this time it seems the automatic system is working, so i wont have to do anything.

tomorrow will be a looong day. work in the morning, then i'll go to my GP to get the meds they wont give me at the MHC, then session with T, then i'll go get a small plant for pdoc to give her they day after with a short letter i wrote to her. (at this point im not sure she "deserves" it but while in doubt its always better to do/give something more than something less… i guess?) and then i'll go get the meds and dinner at my parents since i'll be there (their home is closer to the MHC than my flat).

now i hope i'll get to relax a bit (the neighbors havent moved in yet and thats a good thing) and i hope i'll get to rest well tonight….

tomorrow… i'll do my best as always… glad the day is almost over but i feel so lonely here…. i did call my parents but its not the same…. no news about P... i dont want to make the first move again… i'll just let it go. another hope gone. now, just hoping tomorrow will be a little easier than today, but i doubt it…