Hi, I heard about this site through a friend, and after viewing as a guest, I decided to join in. I am 45, and have been married for 20 years. We have two sons, who will be adults in 1 and 2 years. I don't know if this is the right place to post this, but I honestly have known that my sexual identity is not how I have lived all of my life. I've known since early high school that I was different. But I chose to live my life as society, and my family, expected me to live, and it's just not working for me. I'm always depressed, and I feel alienated in my marriage. I have never acted on how my heart feels, but I finally know now that living this lie has always held me back. I'm just curious if anyone else here has been in this situation? Living this way has made me progressively worse, but I don't see myself living true to myself, and ruining other peoples' lives. I have been in therapy for several years, but can't even seem to admit this to my therapist. I'm not sure why.