Hello SandyZee: Thank you for telling us a bit about your situation. I believe this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to Psych Central.

You referenced your " sexual identity". I'm not sure if you're referring to your sexual orientation or your gender identity. Either way one other forum, here on PC, that may be of interest to you would be the LGBTQ+ forum. Here's a link:

https://psychcentralforums.com/lgbtq-support/

Based on what you wrote, it doesn't sound as though you identify as LGBTQ. However anyone can post in that forum. So concerns you have related to your sexual identity could be posted there. I will say, though, the LGBTQ+ forum is not one of the more active forums here on PC. The relationships forum where you have posted this thread is, on the other hand, an appropriate place to post threads talking about the effect your sexual identity has had / is having on your marriage or other relationships.

There's also the sexual & gender issues forum. That one does tend to see more activity & would be another place you could post:

https://psychcentralforums.com/sexua...gender-issues/

By the way, I will tell you I'm an old man who has struggled with issues related to my gender identity for my entire life. And, like you, I believe that having lived my own lie held me back as well. I also choose, though, not to address my gender identity issues & possibly ruin, in my case, what remains of my wife's life. So, although we're a few years apart in age, it sounds as though we may have some things in common.

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.