Not a whole heck of a lot of input, I'm afraid, but I do greatly admire your profession. It must feel good to be able to provide so much help directly to people - I never had that so much in my profession.

Sometimes we don't think things are getting better through therapy or from being on meds, but, you know, I'm not sure I trust myself to make that decision, since I'm such a pessimist. Why not ask your husband or therapist? They might be in a good position to give some examples of better vibes since you started treatment; sometimes it's hard to think of them yourself, you know?

I've never heard of treatment resistant depression, myself, but I'd be REALLY careful with the ECT stuff. It just seems so medieval.

As for enjoying your life, well, if I had the answers, I wouldn't even know about PC , but one thing I like to do is force myself to enjoy little things. I get a nice root beer or some ice cream and make sure no one'll bother me for a little while and just read with the electric blanket on. Stuff that makes you cozy, you know? Doesn't have to be that, just a little bit of "me" time with the stuff that makes you feel more comfort. Think of it as a (well-deserved) gift for your work at the hospital or clinic. It's not, of course, going to work every day or for all day, but it's a good place to start to remind yourself what contentment feels like. It's too easy to lose hope when we haven't felt it in a while.

Try it at least once, so you can avoid even having the discussion with hubby about him having to take you to the hospital against your wishes.

Good luck and I'm sending loving thoughts your way.