The kids' dad and I met with his therapist again today.

I said to the kids' dad: "I am afraid of you." I was shaking and I cried. Because there was a witness, he had to listen. And because of the structure of the stupid Sharpie talking stick exercise we'd practiced, he had to reflect it back to me every. time. I. said. it.

But my most vivid memory is the trees outside the window. They were so bright and green. It was sunny and windy out, and I planted my feet on the floor and took deep breaths and watched the branches shaking in the wind.