Saw my T today. He is worried about my rapid decline over the last two days. My anxiety is unbearable and rage inconsumable. Seroquel helps but I can’t function on it so can only have it in the evenings. Saying that I’m struggling to function well anyway.

Last night a trigger sent me into a spin. I was at my parents but had to run out the door to escape the trigger. After a rage-filled dangerous drive I got to my partners flat. He calmed me down enough to go back to my parents where dinner was waiting.

Today I am no better. After nearly an hour of trying not to tell my T I told him I was at breaking point. I am doing every single self care thing; exercise, meditation, healthy eating, trying to keep good sleeping patterns, journaling, distraction etc. Yet, over the last two days I’ve began to lose my mind due to the intense anxiety and crazy thoughts. My thoughts are slipping...

My T suggested hospital if I don’t pull up out of this nosedive but I told him I refuse to be trapped in there. He knows me well enough to know that but to also know I’m in trouble. My partner is to stay with me this week and I am to text my T tomorrow and let him know how I am. I won’t say worse as I know he will try to get me IP. Hopefully I won’t have to lie. Right now I feel sick. This is way too much stress.