Quote:
Originally Posted by Lrad123
Thanks for this explanation. I haven’t done IFS (my T is psychodynamic) but I find this interesting. I guess if you look at it this way, the child almost always seems to make it to our session, but it’s a huge struggle and it’s quite painful and I never really know if she’ll make it. It feels easier to deal with when I think of it in parts like that - like I can be a little more understanding if I think of it as a child. I sort of wish my T explained it that way. I wonder when this struggle will go away. It’s been going on for almost 2 years and it’s so disruptive. I just want to look forward to going to my session without all the extra drama.
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Just understanding the dynamic of what is going on internally can be enough to shift it. It's the internal struggle about having valid feelings of attachment and a sense of abandonment while also rejecting any form of attachment to protect the self from that sense of abandonment that makes it all so intense and "immediate". Once you understand the dynamic and the feelings and positive intent behind the two opposing drives it becomes easier to calm it down. Of course the child part wants attachment and connection, and of course the protector part wants to shield the child part from what that sense of rejection. Once you detach from the internal dynamic its much easier for the adult self to say 'it's okay, T is just going away on a much needed vacation and she is coming back."
It's much harder to deal with that when the adult self *knows* that but is overwhelmed or hijacked by the internal drives of the child part and the protector part.