Unfortunately I don't have a lot of advice for you, FracturedPieces! I'd say that the FIRST important thing that you can is to recognize your pain and recognize that it is valid. Validate your own feelings. Remember that these feelings will pas and that they're ONLY feelings. They CAN pass and it CAN be worked on. I wish I've had something more substantial to offer to you! Please keep posting if it helps. I'm not sure if you're seeing a therapist but that may help you as well if you're seeing one! You could learn many new things and many new ways to cope with your feelings! Give it a thought if you're not seeing alreaydy, ok? Wish you LOTS of peace and love! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you and ALL the people you love and who love you, FracturedPieces! Let us know if there's ANYTHING we can do to help you out! WE'RE HERE FOR YOU! THAT'S A PROMISE! Stay safe and keep working on yourself! YOU ARE IMPORTANT AND YOU DO MATTER! THAT'S A PROMISE!