"What can I do" is a deep question. I guess the answer lies in who you are. Maybe you can really do nothing. A Christian once quoted the Bible to me, saying something like "the leopard cannot change his spots". He said that it makes no sense to try harder, experiment in self-betterment etc. That the allure of the Christian tradition lies in that one person who will accept you as who and how you are. Even though I am not especially religious, I find that a powerful insight. Mortal human beings are simply not capable of that infinite compassion, tolerance, acceptance, which they so like to ascribe to themselves.

Maybe the only possibility lies in accepting that the world is a hard and dangerous place. Many people learn very quickly that one has to fight hard. Others, never. Or very late.

I think that I have long held a belief in the world as an essentially good and cooperative place, so that I could keep up the hope that some day I will find a place where it would accommodate me ideally, and I could be happy. Now I am beginning to feel that this is not going to happen. I see two ways: either I change, or I stay who I am, and accept the faar andct that my quality of life or wealth, or the love I receive, will be limited or even scarce. I am not sure whether I can change, maybe I will remain who I am. But maybe, if I come to a point where I stop asking the question, I will also stop holding on to the beliefs I have of who I am, and develop, without even noticing, other skill sets, and do change.

Sorry, I believe this might sound like an sermon of some sort.

I don't know your story, and so I cannot know how far your fears of being killed or confined are justified. I imagine, if you stay logical, but also calm and controlled, and if you refrain from reacting to the other's lack of logic (or cooperation), you will be reasonably save. And the more accepting you are of your place in life, the more you will become agreeable. And people like agreeable people. Agréable people even find an infinite amount of cooperation. Sometimes it's even enough to be more assertive and seemingly free of inner conflict or fear. People also react to that very favourably. I know that from experience. Not my own, though. I am somebody that is not trusted. Didn't you also mention that some people consider you untrustworthy, or a liar, even?