Kinda in the same boat. I was married to a man in the past. We could start a club, lol. No one in real life knows I’d like to date a woman instead. I’ve been slowly testing the waters with T over the past few months. It has helped my courage and might be something you could try?
A couple weeks ago I told her I want to tell her an important “people” thing, but it needs to be when she’ll be in town consistently for weekly appointments. She is not straight, and I’m pretty sure she was married to a man in her past, too, so I’m really thankful that there’s some common ground. I guess there’s still that underlying fear of her taking it the wrong way, though.

You are not alone and we are here to support you.