Quote:
Originally Posted by theoretical
Nevertheless, it seems like you're using anonymity (and hence, few real consequences) as an opportunity to explore a different aspect of your personality. There's nothing wrong with that. It allows us to better understand ourselves, so long as you're actively trying to understand that darker part of you and not simply indulging in it.
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I have another outlet for my dark sides, they do exist yea, most people have them I think, not sure.
The attitude I've shown here is more a leftover from when no one understood me and the more I explained, the more I got in trouble. This is ages and ages ago. But back then it ended up I was scapegoated when I tried to do good and fair things. It took me a while to realize good and fair is threatening to some, so I was surprised of the reaction.
So who I was here, was sort of a grumble from the past, the one that never got told others actually wronged ME, made me see that there was a part of me that tried its best and because trying, failed and was punished. I think it is a bit miffed still.
And that is not you guys' fault. And not the way I usually behave. I think it did happen here because in smaller contexts I have to be more centered, a big forum can allow someone to do their thing and not be bothered.
Anyway, thanks to all for letting me ramble. Sometimes it is not until the words come out, I understand how I think.
Not trying to downplay my bad sides. But I was never punished for them, always for trying to do good.
Weird things from 20 years ago still can affect me.