I see this as exactly what happened in regards to your mom. You did/do the best you can.

I wish my family wasn't so far away. I will visit my sister for 8 days in August--the last time I saw her was about 2 years ago.

ennui--my psych drugs help with this--everyone is on them because of our culture--work, work, work, isolation, technology, not enough time in nature....

Also, that your H went from working all of the time to being at home is a big adjustment that you both have to come to terms with. The same thing can be said of your son's marriage.