I've been having thoughts for a while that my friend is a narcissist and didn't have genuine feelings of concern for me but only for what I could do for her, so I had written before about feeling used as a supply to her ego.

Part of my emotional reaction to this situation is that is just confirms in a very clear way, what doubts I had previously that we had any kind of real friendship rather than a convenient arrangement that suited her wants for awhile.

It has taken a profound experience of rejection to get me to stop avoiding this realization.