Today has been a really good day because since im actually recovering from my depression i can actually think clearly for a change...
i was hurt by the nastiness of the texts i was sent...and the harsh way i was dumped by a friend...but in terms of the friendship...i guess friendships come and go...and i did like the friendship I had with this friend..so will remember that, and not dwell on one day of pain..(at least in my mind it wasn't a long deterioration of a friendship, but a clean sharp cut...completely severed from each other within a few hours)...(I think now..it may have been on his mind for a while...but who knows...)..
i guess i feel that my depression was never really understood, because if it was i don't think anyone would just throw me away so quickly and be so unkind..or maybe it's just that i don't think i deserve it..
it hurt really badly when my depression was minimized and described as rubbish and %#@&#!...but in a way...you only realise how debilitating and painful depression really is...when you experience it first hand....
it is a shame..i still feel that it is...i don't like confrontation or to know i have hurt someone..or that my personality or my illness has lead to something good ending so badly..
anyway....i have spent the last day and nite with my goood friends...and know who my very good friends are...and have felt cared for and loved...
i'll never be nasty back..as that is not my form...and i couldn't do that anyway...as im very kind hearted..and it would hurt me more so than this... i don't know if i believe in karma...i hope it doesnt get him..coz that's not what i want...at all...
i really do wish him the best..and hope that life is all it's cracked up to be,,,.