You're right, Michelle has issues. However, remember that she's also only 14, an age where everyone, and I do mean everyone, is inclined to do foolish things. She may feel that her side of the story hasn't really been heard. In her mind, she may really believe that it's not her fault. Maybe she was hurt by the lack of trust. Maybe she feels insecure, and the whole situation really made it worse. She reacted, not psychotically, but defensively.

"Over-confident"? Maybe she's just asserting her hope and doesn't want anyone to know that she's uncertain.

"Not over till she says it is"? She may have phrased it poorly, but this is a sentiment I understand. Perhaps what she really meant was that she would continue to be your friend even if you didn't want to be hers. I feel this way towards several people who no longer contact me. If they did, however, or if I saw they were in trouble, I would certainly help them, because I never stopped being their friend.

"Threatened to come talk to you"? How is asserting a desire to talk it over a threat? How can there ever be any resolution if you are unwilling to talk to her? Of course she doesn't understand, because you won't communicate.

"Don't talk about me- it's just rude"? Well, it is, and she has every right to be upset about that. You can't tell me that if people were going around talking about how mean you are, you wouldn't be bothered by it. You've already said you are, because you don't like that two friends have "joined her side."

I'm not saying that any of her actions are excuseable. But a little bit more understanding on both parts could circumvent a disaster that destroys numerous friendships. Why can't you be friends with her again? Why can't you overcome this? Are your relationships that conditional? If a person doesn't live up to your expectations you just drop them? Be honest: Michelle doesn't mean much to you, so you can just drop her and stubbornly refuse to forgive her or talk about it with her with out any problems.

And for the record, forgiveness doesn't have to requested to be given.

I've found that when there is a major disagreement between my friends, the best thing to do is to get a moderator that is completely outside the situation and can be objective. Then sit down with you, her, Sara, and the moderator, and have a discussion. Set limits. No interuptions allowed, everyone gets a turn to be heard. No insults.

It's obvious that your friendship is very important to Michelle. The very least you could do is take the time to explain why hers mean so little to you.