I know what you are talking about.

I think victim blaming is a form of abuse. What scares me is that the pattern followed by the victim-blamer mimics the pattern of the abuser.

First, she provokes by blaming you
And then when you get frustrated and upset,
She says, "Wow, you've got issues"

I'm thinking, hey, that's what my abuser used to do!

Now, I don't know if the similarities between them are coincidental or intentional. But the bottom line is that they both hurt the victim.