Do people with bipolar have no memory or little memory of conversations when tey get in a state of heightened anxiety?

We all have difficulty remembering certain parts of conversations, and our recollections will always differ. That is a given, eg six people have a conversation and there will be 7 versions- the actual one (which would need a tape recorder to confirm), and 6 differing viewpoints of what was said, and the context, meaning, and feelings, etc.

Two examples of what I am talking about
My ex fiancee had mental health issues, primarily anxiety and depression. I am unsure of her diagnoses/meds. Once, I was late picking her up because I had picked up her replacement engagement ring. She was in a huge state of anxiety, shouting, etc, and on at least half a dozen times during the conversation I said that I was late because of the ring.
The next day when she had calmed down and I talked about it, she remembered how angry and stressed she was, and I asked her why I was late. She had no recollection whatsoever, just how angry and upset she was . She was genuinely surprised when I told her that I had picked up the ring, and then she questioned me as to why I hadnt told her (which I clearly did half a dozen times) and she genuinely had no recollection.

2) My wife who is bipolar2, sober for 2 years, but has a substance abuse problem (I am a health care professional). on medication has similar lapses in memory, and then I get blamed for changing my story and 'gaslighting' her. Now, I understand theat there will always be differences in what was said, and recollections.
She gets in a state of heightened anxiety, throws a bottle of wine through the wall (twice), steals the keys off me to to to the surgery to get some drugs. I tell her that the key she found is not the right one, and that drug taking is a dumb thing. She talks about how she is going to self harm, and mentions and talks about suicide for 20 of the 20 minutes we are outside. Her major fear in life is dying, so I dont buy the suicide ideations as actionable, more manipulation to get me to take her to the surgery.

I gently probe regarding suicide ideations, she is just wanting me to go to the surgery. I offer to call an ambulance/police to keep her safe as she is so important to me.

Heres the kicker. She gets heightened anxiety, and repeatedly says that if I call someone to keep her safe, she will say that I through the bottle through the wall, and claim that she was feeling unsafe.

I am unable to do anything at this stage on my end.

She leaves, and 10 minutes later I get a message from her sister in law that she is there..

Fast forward to two days we are in the middle of the shopping centre, and I am hearing about how things are no good, and numerous issues.

I bring up how two days ago she threw the wine through the wall, was drug seeking, and when I tried to keep her safe, I was threatened with arrest and me being the bad guy.

She said that never happened and that I was just gaslighting her and she is about to shout out in the middle of the shopping centre how bad I am. All the time smiling and saying that I was making it all up

Fast forward to another week and she can barely remember the shopping centre discussion, but can accept she threw the bottle, getting me arrested.was thinking of self harming, but denies any knowledge of discussions of suicide (but on further probing she accepted that it may have been discussed by her)

Her pressurised speech is through the roof, and if I am having a conversation, she will ususally interupt my first sentence, talk over me and repeat her point of view. If we are discussing something tricky or sticky, typically I will be interupted, she will say something different. I can repeat what she said, and usually get how she is feeling, and the context of her flow of conversation;

She will be happy to scream and call me a **** and shout at the kids if she is in a bad mood.

If I ask what I said after I am misquoted, she goes 1 of a number of ways i) talks over me ii) tells me I said exactly what SHE said, (not my half sentence).

I honestly could count on one hand the number of decent conversations in the last six months on one hand.

Her only topics of conversation are her previous alcoholism, her wanting drugs, holidays, cars, and how I am useless around the house and a workaholic.

She has been off for over six months, but rather than realising that maybe I realise its up to me to support her, I get nothing but complaints regarding work. If I talk about downsizing our lives/ spending habits, no that is not an option as I would be 'squashing her dreams", and she will be shouting at the drop of a hat

So, here are my questions
1) Is this a normal thing?
2) how do loved ones ever deal with this? It feels incredibly stressful to be always the one being forgetful when there are blatently obvious things that peoople cant remember. ie late because I picked your engagement ring up and being threatened with arrest over what she did, while I was gently enquiring about whether she needed me to intervene to save a life