I remember reading (on PC long ago!) that the “silent treatment” is one of the cruelest things one person can do to another—worse than yelling and screaming and insults and gaslighting and violence. And I think it’s true: it might not be the worst but it certainly is the cruelest: to take away a human connection like that. My ex-wife was also very active generally in trying to separate me from my friends and family and even my daughter because it gave her more control.

Anyway, the question for you is, Do you want to live with someone who is so deliberately cruel to you? Do you feel like this person is ever going to be capable of making you feel like he’s your partner?

Divorce and the future and the money and the arrangements—they’re all really scary but sometimes it’s a journey that needs to be made to escape from a bad situation.

And I hear you on the “dying” part—for me that was the golden future we should have had that took so long to go from “shining” to “a dry dead husk.”