I think I’m in a similar position. Extreme anxiety that is unrelenting becomes unbearable. For me, I feel like I am on the verge of losing my mind. Feeling like there is no escape is going to lead you to want to die. It is understandable. However, with help it will pass so please hang in there.

Have you identified the source of the anxiety? Do you have anyone who can help you through this both personal and professional? There must be a safe way to slowly calm down. Your suffering must be horrible. I hope it eases soon. Feel free to PM me if you want.