for those of you who have had parental feeling towards your T...what makes them sometimes cross over into the world of erotic feelings? I’m deliberately not calling these feeling “transference” because I don’t believe current feelings for your T are necessarily a re-enactment if past feelings.

Is there something specific that presses the button and you start to eroticise them? Or is it more fluid than that?

I find mine quite fluid...even in the midst of erotic feelings/fantasies, i still usually think of him as parental (I know it sounds weird—I’m currently looking at Freud for some answers).

But then sometimes it also feels like a button gets pushed—I can spend the first half of a session feeling like a little kid who looks up to him as a dad, and then he can make a comment about, say, a date, or a past partner (self disclosure with a purpose, not random) and I immediate switch and start desiring him sexually.