I'm sure many people can relate to what you wrote, franz kafka Please hang in there. I agree with Wander about contacting someone that may be able to help you. Do you have a Pdoc or a therapist? Try to contact them if you can and want. Any friends or family that may help you right now? Give it a thought. We're here for you as well if you're in need of support. Feel free to PM me anytime as well. We care about you. You can be sure of that. Please stay safe and take GREAT care of yourself. You are important and you matter. Wish you PLENTY of safety, peace, love, kindness and a bright future ahead fo you. Please don't you EVER give up hope. Things CAN and WILL get better for you at some point. THAT'S A PROMISE! Wish you the BEST of luck in both your healing and your life. Sending many safe, warm hugs to you, franz kafka, and to ALL the people you love and who love you! .love: