Firstly, do you have a therapist? If not then I would recommend you getting one. They will help you process your grief over your Dads passing.
It is very traumatic to have a loss like this.
I used to sneak too.

I believe you have to change your habits in order to break free.
Perhaps make non alcoholic drinks to serve your friends.
Perhaps it is a good idea to take a break from your boy friend. Was he a drinker as well?
Good luck in your journey toward better health.
I abuse alcohol and have come to turms with it. It is my body, my responsibility.

bizi