Spaz, I don't know why it is that we want to cut ourselves when others hurt us or when we feel unsafe with them. I have had these feelings and acted on them many times. Maybe it was so I could have CONTROL. I don't know but ultimately I do know that hurting our bodies is not the way to be healthy. I understand it, and was so very tempted recently again but WE DO NOT DESERVE TO BE HURT! By ourselves or others. Be safe.