Quote:
Originally Posted by seesaw
Could we ever really have prevented it though? Like we could talk all we want about how things MIGHT have been different if we did something different but we will never know if things would have been different or exactly the same because we can't predict the future or redo the past and see what happens. There are so many variables. So it's actually just pointless to try to think of how we could have changed the situation (or blame the victim) bc abusers are going to abuse.
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SO true.
Like with my abusive ex fiance? Had I known he would become abusive towards me when I moved him here? I never would have done it... had I seen signs of abuse before then? I never would have done it. He hid his true self from me, at long distance, for five months. I did not see that side of him, nor did I know anything about it.
Like I wrote in another thread, anyone can get caught in an abusive situation with an abuser. They don't show their true colors right away, and they put their best foot forward in the beginning, just like everyone else. And childhood abuse? Children are totally dependent on their caretakers... and are totally innocent victims. Even worse, because they don't know how people are yet and are not old enough to even understand yet.
So, no... abuse cannot really be prevented. I get angry when people try to state or insinuate otherwise.
And only AFTER I experienced al the trauma and abusive crap from my ex, did I regret my decision to move him here. I was placed in a very tough situation when he became homeless all of a sudden. I had a heart, and couldn't just easily leave and walk away from him at that point in time.
Hindsight is always 20/20.