@divine1966, I understand, Divine. I think it's a very mixed bag with him. And I know that most people mean no harm... most. Some people have caused upset, and perhaps they were not aware of it. Most have been very supportive around this, however, and I have greatly appreciated everyone's help.

To be really clear on this, since it's been confusing:

On the one hand, I believe that he took advantage of my generosity and kindness.. because he is manipulative and a con artist. He took advantage of me due to his addiction and he took advantage of my love for him, I feel.

However, not once have I said or claimed that he used me...

Others on here have said that, which has only just angered me to go on the defensive to state that I believe he did truly love me....

he never would have told me this each and every day if he didn't love me, and he would not have emailed me at one point telling me he had never loved anyone more. He also told me repeatedly that I was everything to him, his whole world, his purpose for being here and he called me his "family".

On the flip side, he told me in the end as we broke up, that he loved his other ex more than me... throwing everything into question, naturally.

Naturally I am going to then ask myself & question: DID he just use me, even though the evidence I witnessed all pointed to the opposite.

But I got upset when people just flat our tried to tell me he did use me. To me, it's more complex & layered than that.

What I really wanted in terms of support was specific advice on the HOW of forgiveness....

like what thoughts I can hold in order to forgive him and fully let go now?

It has become a bit confused and convoluted on here due to the many different details. But the titles of two of my threads having to do with him are about forgiveness... and how...

I hope this helps to clarify!!