"What is probably the biggest barrier to spotting potential for abuse early on, though, is an abuser typically hides behind a façade of public charm, said Nancy Virden, a mental health and recovery advocate and founder of Always the Fight Ministries in Cleveland. “Abusers believe they are right and entitled to admiration. Publicly, they present as put-together, fit into the environment around them and often pass as the nicest, if not the most honest, guy in the room.”

That charm makes it easy to court someone. Virden says it may morph into power and control over a partner."

I am NOT saying that warning signs of potential abuse cannot be detected. THEY CAN. And there are definitely red flags of potential abuse that are documented.

What I AM saying is that all too often, most abuse victims gloss over or don't think much or are unaware of these red flags... therefore, as is most typical, the warning signs get dismissed and/or glossed over in the name of romance and in the face of "love blinders"....

And what I am saying is that 20/20 is always perfect vision in hindsight.

I am NOT saying that we cannot learn about the warning signs in order to avoid a potential abuser....

What I AM saying is that the victim of abuse should never be blamed for having found themselves within an abusive relationship.