Thanks, everyone, for the support and suggestions.

After awhile in this nightmare, it can be difficult to see and to think clearly. It can become impossible to see options. Thanks for your understanding and your support.

One of the problems is we own other property together. The property needs to be sold. Before it is sold, the work needs to be finished. I have asked him to buy me out; he won't. I cannot buy him out. This means we have to work together. This is the part he fails to understand: "working together." We have to get this asset ready to sell.

His demeanor has totally changed. He is clearly not the "nice guy" I had thought he was. The "discoveries" I have made date back at least 14 years. He has not been a nice guy during that time;yet, he had hidden that from me. I cannot imagine living a "double life," what a headache!

Right now, he has said he has been trying to get an upper hand in the divorce. Can you imagine saying such a thing? I can't. There is no "upper hand" in a "no fault" state. I keep telling him this. People might as well cooperate because the law is very clear and it always goes back to the law in the end. The very best lawyer in town can only get you the same 50% you would have gotten without the lawyer, except now one has a lot of lawyer fees.

He is acting VERY AFRAID of whatever is on the hard drive of the computer. He keeps ranting that "someone is trying to set him up!" Who? He has no idea. This is because nobody is trying to set him up. He keeps after ME about it. It is out of my hands.

He lies and lies and lies, until I start thinking I am "crazy." This tactic, by the way, is called "gaslighting." (I am VERY shocked with the lying! I have never known him to lie; I was blind. He gets very indignant and is a believable liar.)

I need a break!

It has gotten so out of hand this past week, I had asked him to contact me only for emergencies. We can/have set up phone meetings to discuss other matters needing attention, like the finances, etc. (We are still sharing some joint accounts to pay the bills.) So he keeps texting and leaving messages asking if we can talk? I again send him the text, telling him I need a break and will only take urgent calls. I have stopped responding at all for now.

I could get a restraining order. The police keep asking me if I want one. They have been involved twice already. I really need to be able to talk with him about property, etc. I also need to be able to be present at our property at the same time, if need be. It's very important to max the profit on this asset.

I have not had an attorney, as I have been hoping to complete the divorce via mediation. However, if he does not back off in a hurry, I will retain an attorney.
I have been hoping for a somewhat amicable divorce, if possible. I don't like the guy, now that I know who he is. Yet, this is a no fault state and I could blow a lot of money on legal fees and not come out any better financially. In the meantime, I have to pretend I can stand him... just enough to get by. (I am VERY honest, so "pretending" is VERY difficult for me.)

We have been "best friends" for 27 years; but the moment I had let him know I had found him out, via finding files/videos on the computer, he had immediately started treating me like I had been an enemy for life.

It is all crazy-making!

I think I will continue to not respond to calls/texts. If he insists it is urgent, I will pre-screen via text, asking him the topic of his call. I did that earlier today and he went away.

If I continue to decline in health, I will have to retain an attorney. No choice.
I can now see I have been dissociating some this past week.

Thanks again. You are really helping me a lot. I am thinking things through as I write. Your responses help me to think about options. Our interactions help me to not feel so "crazy." You also make me feel loved!

Much Love and Gratitude to All!