Oh WC

What a horrible mess this has become for you

For all this to be going on for at least 14 years would just be so hard to wrap your head around, my heart aches for you.

I think you are right about setting up specific times that you will speak to him is very much the right thing to do. This will allow you to make note of things that needs discussed.

One idea you might want to try is via text lay down some rules that you have regarding his behavior during these calls that will cause you to simple hang up. If he raises his voice, or brings up that someone “ setting him up” nonsense. His denial about anything you have proof of. Simply hang up and do not respond to any text or calls for X amount of days or even a total week. I think he needs to learn that while he fooled and lied to you for years he no longer can control anything when it comes to you anymore.

I understand not wanting to pay a Lawyer..... which is why suggest setting strict ground rules would be of benefit. He is harming you deeply on both the mental aspect and physical also. Both of which you will have to repair which will take who knows how long.

Take whatever steps you need to protect yourself while dealing with him. If he doesn’t like it .. too damn bad.

Your always on my mind