It’s been truly a gaslighting experience that drove me to madness! The reason he doesn’t have it in his head is because he really just doesn’t have it in his head! No matter how many fights we’ve had about it and how I have explained it to him, he simply doesn’t have it in his head and puts himself and his own BS excuses like worrying about something about his job that was of no importance and didn’t even occur ahead of me. I am small and insignificant and that’s just the way it is. . I stay because I don’t think any better of myself. I’m afraid I’ll just be totally alone or find someone else with a different set of dysfunction. I really need to learn to stop setting myself up and then reeling over it. That’s the hardest part. Accepting I will never get my needs met and stop setting myself up for the rejection.