I wonder how much of the BS excuses are laziness verses not valuing/loving you (neither is good but laziness is a bad habit that is easier to overcome than dislike)? Why didn't he let you go if he doesn't love you? I struggle all of the time with how much of my problems are a genetic mental health problem verses problems that are caused by the behaviors of myself or others. It is really hard to sort out because each effects the other. You seem to have anxiety and depression like I do from my POV. Maybe it was 100 percent caused by your environment but if some of it is just innate then your psych drugs will help. It is harder to be loving in a positive way when we have been beaten down by depression and/or stress. Depresion/anxiety verses stress--this is alot like the discussion of which came first--the chicken or the egg....