I notice that I'm afraid of getting high. I haven't been completely high in a very long time. Even with the ketamine, I only snorted 30-50mg at a time when 200mg is what people usually snort. Once I snorted 100mg and it was great but I didn't do it again. MDMA gave me a panic attack so I threw that away, I snorted 20mg meth and then threw that away, snorted 50mg cocaine and threw that away, smoked 10mg DMT and threw that away..

I'm afraid to get high after my bad 4-AcO-DMT trip. It scared me right into taking only very low doses of drugs.

That's all I take now is low doses of drugs. I don't even drink more than 2 drinks of alcohol anymore.

I'm just scared of drugs now. Maybe that's a good thing. I bought some phenibut (Phenyl-GABA) to take twice a week to replace xanax. I'll probably take only low doses though. I don't get high on xanax. Just enough to make me sleep.

Right now I'm very OK with being sober. I don't crave any type of altered state of consciousness right now. I find my sobriety and my reality to be very interesting.

I used to take ungodly quantities and different amounts of drugs. Now I'm just chill.

I know ibogaine is the best drug for addiction. I heard about a heroin addict that tried ibogaine (A psychedelic) and he had a really bad trip where he took it, then realized he had heroin in his packsack and injected it. Then he died from overdose. After the trip, he realized that it was all a hallucination and then he never touched heroin again. That's kind of what happened with my bad trip. I'm too scared to ever escape reality again because it was so horrifying to know all the secrets to the universe and completely die from ego death and then come out of it completely spiritual.