I don't know that I can help in any way.

One thing you said is sticking out to me. I know you love and care about your s.o.

But you said "i'm neglecting the responsibility I have towards him."

You feel responsible but you are not, in the end. You just want the best end of life care for him, but if you can't do it you can't do it.

Please let yourself off the hook.

I have uncles who just sent my aunts to nursing homes because of alzheimers. They are my mom's sisters. They have dementia, but when I saw them they were not difficult to understand, walking, not serious health issues. It angers me they were sent from their husbands, because the husbands got tired of listening to someone with dementia. My dad did everything he could until the end, yet he lost it with my mother at times. When she was in rehab, for a brief moment she almost seemed happier and adjusted somewhat, remembering residents names. She was no happier when she got home again. Just wanted to sleep. Sorry to go on.... I'm just saying.... there are times when it is justifiable, and absolutely reasonable to put someone into long term care. I believe you have reason to for some time already. He's going to be ok, dive nursing home or not, and you can visit him.

I also hope that you don't drain yourself when he does go for a while. If he missed you for one day, he will be okay. If you don't tackle the whole mess at once, it will be ok. I hope you take time to do something for yourself. Go to a pool, a park, museum, something.... and sleep when you need to.