Thanks so much for your response! I appreciate your sharing about your own experiences. I am sorry you went through having been a friend to someone so full of deceit.

Yes, he always had a "reason" for everything. I'd questioned quite a bit, though I had trusted him. So if he told me something was true, I'd ,generally, believe him. I had been extremely adamant he never participate in certain activities and straight up told him if he was participating in anything illegal, I'd report him. so... he hid those things very well. We've found another internet network (another connection to the internet) tied in with our usual home internet network. He was using that network to cover up and to carry on with whatever he was doing. He also had a "burner phone."

Between having a separate and a "secret" network, having locks on "vaults" throughout different areas of the computer, etc., etc., he looks quite "guilty."

He is adamant that he knows nothing about the secret network, the vaults full of XXX, etc. He continues to shout that someone hates him and is trying to set him up. He is VERY believable. pathological liars often convince themselves that they are not lying.

Interestingly, I had told him about some of the "things" I have found. He just sat there and/or admitted to them. However, once the police became involved, he'd started screaming "set-up!"

Yes, it is very disturbing to me that anyone could be that deceitful. and could carry on for years! I just don't understand living a double life like that? Why would he stay with someone for 27 years if he has to cover up who he is and what he is doing? Maybe because his secret activities are not generally acceptable to most anyone?

His "blips," those times certain aspects of himself slipped out, he had adamantly blamed his BP illness. He'd see his pdoc and would pull the wool over his pdoc's eyes, as well. I was invited into sessions now and then, so H could "prove" his BP "made him do it." He has had his pdocs convinced of this. One female pdoc had clearly said his issues were more "character - related" than related to BP. She was immediately "fired."

To this day, every time I start to explain the situation to one of my doctors, they ALL blame his behavior on his BP! It has NOTHING to do with BP illness! His "character" sucks! Much to my chagrin.

I see much more now, looking back. I am both angry and saddened.

It all is doing a number on my head, and is messing with "trust" in lots of ways.

Thanks again for sharing. It means a lot to me that you'd open up and would take the time to share here. I am sorry you have gone through what you have gone through!