@theoretical, I thought more on your question on whether abuse can be prevented. I think we have to be very cautious around this, because a victim of abuse already and frequently experiences deep shame and self-blame.... what did I do to cause this? They often think and believe it's their own fault that it's something about THEM that brought on the abuse and mistreatment. That being said, I have realized in the past couple days that we can be more SUSCEPTIBLE to abuse, given certain characteristics we hold & carry... and very frequently, abuse victims have been previously abused in childhood, therefore, they can become an easy target for abusers.

I realized also about my own abusive past relationship that I most certainly was very vulnerable in my life at the time when I met my abuser. I was prime for abuse at that time... my self esteem was very low, I was very needy, I was at a low point in my life, and I had JUST come out of a bad relationship, wanting love and affection.

Now, to address your question: can it be prevented? I take back what I had said previously. It can be AVOIDED by paying attention to all the potential warning signs of an abuser. However, this takes educating oneself about the traits and behaviors of an abusive personality, which usually happens AFTER one has already been abused, and possibly TOO MANY TIMES. So, yes, I believe abuse can be avoided, IF we are aware of and are astute about all the red flags that point to potential abuse down the road. And typically abusers rush into relationships and typically it's experienced as a whirlwind romance at first. That's the most dangerous time because often we put on love blinders and dismiss any warning signs because the romance feels SO good at first.

But again, I think we have to be very careful around this issue... because the victim should never be blamed for the abuse they suffered. It takes education... and like I said, that usually happens after the fact.