Hello, dear friends. Something of an argument came up recently in another thread, and I'd like to open up an in-depth discussion on the subject. I'd like for this to be an open dialogue where we can share and discuss ideas, hopefully with the end goal of understanding the subject at a deeper level and learning or developing strategies to handle these situations in real life.

So, abusive relationships. Feel free to add any comment you like, but a few questions I had in mind:

--> Can abuse be prevented? How, and by whom?

Yes, by an adult who refuses to take it by getting away or shutting the abuser down

--> What power, if any, does the victim have in the relationship? The power to leave the relationship. In the case of the violent abuser hunting them down to physically harm them, it’s trickier. They may have to essentially disappear from the abuser. In a less volatile abusive relationship, the victim has the power to not play into the abuse scenario by refusing to engage with the abuser (when it’s verbal, emotional) in essence avoiding them or shutting them down.

--> What do you think are some myths about abusive relationships that are damaging? I don’t know of any myths.

--> Why do you believe someone would become abusive? Can we lead them to change? If so, how? They are continuing the cycle of abuse that they suffered, they are abusive because it gets them what they want, they are fueled by drugs or alcohol, they are abusive to retaliate to their abuser, a vicious cycle.

--> How does one recover from an abusive relationship? Get away, stop doing it, get therapy, learn what healthy is and just do it.

--> On a broader, societal level, what do you think of the perception of the abuser/victim dichotomy? How do you think abusers are perceived? How do you think victims are perceived? Is it accurate? Does that matter? I think people look the other way and don’t do anything to stop abusers who aren’t abusing them.

These are just some questions I had, so again, feel free to add whatever you like, or pose more questions. I'm not going to give my input yet, because I don't want to feel like I'm leading the conversation or influencing anyone else's opinions. That wouldn't be dialectic.