My Support Forums - View Single Post - Do you feel safe talking about sex with your therapist?

Jun 30, 2019 at 09:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by susannahsays

Safe? I guess so. Maybe. Depends on the context. If we're talking about abuse with a sexual component, I am mostly ok, but sometimes I get paranoid and have this sort of delusion or something that she is going to laugh at me. She hasn't done anything to make me think she would do anything like that, it's just a deep-seated fear, I guess. Sometimes I have nightmares about it.

For consensual sex stuff, it's still kind of complicated because she doesn't approve of my choices in that area.

Possible trigger:

For example, last session I was telling her about how one of my previous conquests, whom I had nicknamed "belt guy" and whom she had heard of before, had been texting me that he missed me and wants me to be his girlfriend. She was a huge debbie downer and kept grilling me about why I call him belt guy, and what he does with the belt, etc. etc. Then she insisted on characterizing what he does as him "beating" me, which I thought was dumb. And then she talked about how it might be illegal because of the age difference and blah blah blah. I told her belt guy likes me, and she said "he likes hurting you" which was pretty brutal. Anyway, I told her he can't help what he likes and she called him a sadist and said he needed to go work on himself or something. And she said it was disturbing that I like to see how much pain I can stand without showing that it hurts.

So, I'm kind of rambling, but I guess I feel safe (except perhaps from hospitalization) and a bit judged at the same time.

Gawd, of all people I thought a *therapist* would have some basic understanding of kink and how that differs from abuse. It's a simple google search and there's tons of research out there on how kinksters aren't psychologically disturbed. If I ever talked about my kink to my T,i hope she wouldn't jump in being all judgy like yours.