I agree with this.

I am going through a journey on forgiveness for my dying father. I have choices to make. I think recovery is about choices, and having the freedom to make healthy choices vs. destructive ones. An abuser attempts to take away choices and make the victim feel helpless and unable to leave, praying on their weak boundaries and emotional instabilities.

For me the abuse I experienced as an adult was a recreation of many aspects of my childhood abuse. I didn't learn about boundaries until I was an adult. If I had been psychologically healthier I don't think I would have been attracted to the same people. Not all of my relationships were abusive, and I hope my son has escaped this pattern of human behavior and has the right skills to have healthy relationships.