I do as well. I was class valedictorian, graduated sumna cum laude, straight A’s and only one B in a tough major that weeds out pre-med students by the ton (microbiology) at the largest public university in the state, still is I believe, I think the 2nd largest undergrad enrollment in the U.S., Wikipedia says, which I hadn’t realized (Texas A&M University, main campus). It was an extremely rigorous program. I got an M.S. in Cell & Molecular Biology, my first author scientific journal publication well received and well cited over the years, not to mention being among the authors on pretty much all the papers that came out of my lab (small lab, generous professor). In high school, I could draw, do logic puzzles, and OMG, I went through the horrors of organic chemistry with the toughest prof who taught the class.

But now, all that is behind me. I don’t even work. Every time I have tried, it’s always ended badly (usually with me close to hospitalization). I think the longest I lasted at a job was 2 months. I try to be a good mother, but I feel lacking a lot of the time, and I hate my daughter has to live with all my MI crises

Then, you start to get physical health problems like a perforated duodenal ulcer (only lucky timing kept me alive on that as the ulcer had been symptomless). That easily is one of the most painful surgeries ever. It came as a shock I could feel that much physical pain and not be dead (and that was pumped full of morphine). And now iron anemia issues probably from the surgery, hopefully helped by iron infusions, time will tell, but I may be having to deal with a nutrient malabsorption issue the rest of my life, hematologist said.

It’s tough.