theoretical, you wrote in a different thread about forgiveness
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The Stoics have a lot to say on this subject, and I'd be happy to discuss their thoughts, if you'd like.
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I have read everything you have written in that thread on forgiveness. My abusive father is presently dying from pancreatic cancer and this has brought up a lot of questions for me and sadness too. I am crying a lot. I also told him today that I loved him and he said he loved me too. I think for me forgiveness is a process. It is not black or white.
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So, basically, focus on the ultimate goal - what can you do to respond to this situation in the best way possible?
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That is what I am focussing on.
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I also try to understand that there are no monsters in this world.
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I guess it depends on how one defines a monster. It helps me to realize that my dying father can no longer frighten and beat me and laugh and tell me that I 'want to be a victim'. Both my parents would laugh and say this when I was 10 years old while they both were beating the crap out of me. It is just a sad fact of my life now.