My understanding is that the problem people who have autism have with eye contact is that they can't establish it or maintain it. From what you wrote, though, it sounds like you crave it. I don't know if this is anything in particular. Perhaps there will be other members who will have some insight into this. Here are links to 2 articles, from PC's archives, on the subject of eye contact:

Connecting Through Eye Contact

Certain Personalities Are More Comfortable With Eye Contact