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gordian_knot said:
Well, her therapist told her that she shouldn't work on her relationship until she works on healing herself first. Apparently I'm supposed to give her ten weeks and not pressure her, challenge her, or in any way give her any stress, so that she can focus on getting herself better.

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I hate to say it, but the therapist is right. She needs to fix herself first before she can fix the marriage.

One more suggestion - could you get an appointment with that therapist, for yourself? I'm not saying you are crazy, just that maybe he can help you move past things and help you know how to help your wife....or help you move past it and move on if divorce is what has to happen. It also might help to get the kids in there once in a while. Just a thought.