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Originally Posted by theoretical
I agree on all counts. Recovery, and even simply having a healthy relationship, requires that one has the freedom to make healthy choices. And yes, forgiveness is a process, usually a long and winding journey with various obstacles, and it can't be forced or rushed.
I'm sorry to hear that your parents put you through that, and I hope you can find some sort of peace.
Yes, I knew of a woman who stayed in an abusive relationship because he was rich and he bought her a lot of very expensive things. A lot of people tried help her, and she at least seemed to understand the risks she was taking, but she stayed with him regardless. He was like 30 years her senior, so I think she figured he would've died soon enough anyway. She wasn't wrong.
To be clear, I don't blame this woman for the abuse she endured. She could not have been responsible for actions committed against her. That's impossible.
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It’s common for people (especially women) to stay because they are being financially supported. I personally cannot grasp why someone would endure misery instead of simply getting a job but it’s fine if others choose such life. But then I don’t understand complaining and gaining sympathy if their reason for staying is simply lack of desire to be employed.
Waiting until someone dies could get tricky. My grandparents (years ago) had a neighbour who married much older wealthy man and she literally thought he dies soon. Yup she wasn’t shy about it. He lived to be over a 100. No kidding. By then she was 70 or something. Stupid idea marrying someone for that reason. What a waste of life. Well she deserved that for her greed and laziness