What I don't really get is this need that people have to classify themselves into boxes. Why is it important to have a correct diagnosis? So one can get effective treatment. Unfortunately... Treatment for mental disorders isn't really diagnostic specific (because the majority of conditions found in the DSM won't survive through to the 'final science' because they are fairly arbitrary collections of symptoms...).

Is it about... Trying to figure out who one is? And the appeal of a personality disorder diagnosis that it will somehow peg you down. Tell it to you like it is.

Personality research is problematic... Seeing ones personality as being flawed even more so.

This sounds to me like a particular theory of narcissistic personality disorder. Some theorists would say that narcissism is ALWAYS compensatory.

Indeed the technical term 'narcissism' is a little different from what we often take it to be (it isn't such an insult). Both borderline personality and narcissistic personality disorder are thought to be 'narcissistic' conditions in that the compensatory response is to focus on oneself (or ones intense emotions in the case of borderline personality).